For my new job, I was taking a course of safe lifting practices in the workplace, and it occurred to me that this course really doesn't do any good. For men, anyway. I can't say with women; I have no idea how their minds operate. But guys, on the other hand... I get them, what with being one and all.
Now, why wouldn't this training work, you ask? Somebody spent several thousands of dollars developing this software program to warn employees of the dangers of improper lifting. And there is no two ways about it, improper lifting is extremely dangerous. People don't realize how delicate the human back really is, and it isn't something to be taken lightly, if you'll pardon the pun.
However... back injuries are not what men think of when faced with an object that needs moved. The injury that concerns them most is their pride. That's right, that fabled muscle every man posesses. If you don't believe it is a muscle, consider the following:
Pride grows, is described as strong, has the power to make things happen, can be hurt, looks good if toned, and looks disgusting if it is too large. Just like a bicep. Bam.
So, anyway, any man faced with a heavy object is also faced with the decision of injuring his back or his pride. Most men go for the back. It's not a conscious decision to injure their back; and often times the back is unharmed, anyway. Men think in terms of objective and solution. "What is the task at hand, and how can I complete it?" Details, unless they are Sherlock Holmes, do not matter. Here is a scenario to illustrate.
Jackie, the supervisor, only has one man on duty at her retail establishment. She has a large, awkwardly shaped table that a customer needs loaded into her van. Jackie knows that none of the women in the store can do it, and it could take three of them to do it tandem. She needs as many people on the floor as possible, so she calls Will to the front. She asks Will not if he WOULD carry the table, but if he CAN. If not, she could drop what she is doing, go all the way to the back of the store, and get the hand cart to carry awkward megalith. What is going through Will's mind right now?
Challenge accepted.
Despite the fact that Will is violating every possible safety rule, he will heft the item. It will take him multiple tries to get ahold of it, and stand up, and get through the door, but dang it, he will succeed. The formula goes like this:
Heavy and/or awkward object+man=man will lift.
Some men (I can't deny being one) will seek out the most awkward items to carry/lift. It carries prestige. They brag about it. "Today at work, I lifted a 5-foot long, 57 lb table that was in our storeroom, while on a ladder, while reaching across a 3 foot gap. Meanwhile, the back door blew open and I was performing all of this in a hurricane-force wind. By myself."
Of course, no one is impressed by the actual feat of lifting. They're just amazed by the lengths we men go to to make ourselves look impressive, and the fact that we didn't die.
