Fall was the hurricane that everyone told me PT school would be. Anatomy was fun for the first half of the semester, but as we started diving into areas I had never explored (nervous system, viscera, etc.), I began to lose interest, and my grades slipped. I received some of the lowest grades I had ever had due to my inattentiveness. I reached a point in the semester where I didn't care anymore, and as my grades fell, I began to lose confidence. I barely held on to the grades I had at the end. But, there were positives to the semester that far outweigh the difficulties I faced. I emerged, once again, unscathed. I developed deeper friendships with other students who were embracing the same struggle I was. I grew to know some of my instructors deeper. I learned, as a result of the struggles I faced towards the end of the semester, the importance of self-care, and making time for enjoying life. And, towards the end, I finally came to terms with the depth of a relationship I had with a very good friend.
Winter was a truly relaxing experience. For the first time, I didn't have a job that sucked the enjoyment out of Christmas for me. I got to spend quality time with friends. And, due to advice I had received from a couple of very good friends, decided to finally pursue my dear now-girlfriend as more than a friend. I wasn't sure what I was getting myself into, as balancing relationship and school is a tall order.
But the spring saw me doing just that, entirely by the grace of God. That was the recurring theme for this semester- His neverending grace. I finally found myself growing to understand the concept of His strength being made perfect in my weakness.
By myself, I couldn't get through the semester. I failed an exam at one point, and it felt like my world was coming to a screeching halt. I was convinced that if I couldn't pass this exam, I was doomed in that class. I wrote myself off. I was weak; I was not competent enough. But what happened was that people who care about me lifted me up. I received pep talks from people I hardly knew, support from my girlfriend and a couple of dear friends who had been through the program ahead of me, and assistance from friends who weren't going to leave me behind. Most unexpectedly, I heard the instructor whose class I was struggling in tell me that she believed in me. This instructor does not have a reputation as being warm and caring, but in that moment, she was. And it meant more than I can express. I was more determined than ever to prove her right.
The amazing thing about God's perfect strength is that He typically makes the things He accomplishes that much more impressive by the instrument He uses. The best analogy I can possibly use still fails miserably, but if you can imagine winning a NASCAR race with a Model T, you get an idea of what I mean. I've heard of kids winning at state track meets in Air Jordans. Same idea. God accomplishes amazing things, and makes them more amazing by using broken tools to make it happen. That was what He did in my life- encouraging me to keep fighting through unexpected sources and actually leading me to finish with a better grade in that class than I honestly anticipated getting. I am now more motivated and excited about my career choice than I ever have been. My turning the situation over to the only one who really ever had control in the first place, I succeeded.
Now, I am about to begin my second year of PT school. I know it will be hard. It may be harder than the first year. But my heart attitude is completely different. God has called me to this; and he who called is faithful to provide. Looking back on the way my life has changed and how I have grown in faith, I can't help but think of this old song. Hopefully you enjoy it.
