On Fear

Whew.  I didn't sleep so well last night.  I had a dream that these guys were my only companions:

Well, them and some reindeer.  That's what I get for reading about the Saami right before bed.  Yeesh.

Anyway.  Back to business.  My writing last night wasn't as free-flowing as it usually is.  I'm not sure what the block was, but I just couldn't round up my thoughts the way I wanted to at the end.  So, before I start on any new topics, I want to tie up the loose ends from last night, which came to me as I was running this morning.

The worst part about the "Not-Good-Enough" lie is that you have no confidence because you don't experience success, and part of the reason you don't succeed is a lack of confidence.  It's a vicious cycle.  I understand it completely.  But what is important to remember is the bitterness that it breeds, and the faithlessness that it encourages.  Those are the real dangers.  But I have a little secret- as soon as you become conscious of Satan's tricks, and begin mindfully praying about them and combating them, that cycle will break.  That, I promise you.  It may not happen immediately, but it will happen.  It may be a gradual improvement, or one day after weeks of prayer, something inside of you may just snap into place.  We're all individual; it varies.

C.S. Lewis brings up another mindblowing concept in Screwtape.  Fear is not what we think it is.  We are afraid of things happening, whether to us, or as a result of something we do.  Some fear rejection or embarrassment.  Some fear not being able to put food on the table.  There are a lot of things people are afraid of.  But fear is a distraction.  Just like hunger.  Just like being cold.  It's a survival instinct.  We're afraid of heights because we could fall, afraid of snakes because we could be bit, afraid of rejection because without other people in our lives, we will become miserable wretches (just ask Peaches and Cream up there in the birthday hats).  We think that the burden associated with fear is that which we are actually afraid of.  But it isn't.  It is the fear itself.  I think we would find that if what we fear actually happened to us, it would not be nearly so distressing as the constant burden of fear we carry around.  Besides that, on a spiritual level, are we not told a kajillion times to not be afraid?  Isn't fear a lack of faith?  Isn't that Satan's aim?

I'm not judging any of you.  I am every bit as afraid of certain things in my life as you are of different things in yours.  But I implore you to take heart.  Put aside your fear and your doubt.  Don't let yourself be drug into bitterness by your feelings of inadequacy.  Don't be drug into arrogance by your feeling of entitlement that comes with the realization that you are "equal."  Don't fall for Satan's lies.  I ask this of all of you that we might encourage each other.  I want to face my fears.  You want to face yours.  There are others who won't have the courage to try until they see us break the patterns of Satan's lies in our lives.  That's not an easy thing.  But C.S. Lewis states it best, so powerfully that it almost moves me to tears.

We may have to endure that which we fear.  But I'd rather do that than deal with the fear.

Of Lies and Misrepresentations

Just two hours ago, I finished reading C.S. Lewis's brilliant works, The Screwtape Letters and Screwtape Proposes a Toast.  For those of you who have not read Screwtape, I first recommend that you do so.  If you will not pick up a copy (or at the very least Google it) prior to reading the remainder of this blog, I will give you a brief description.  The book is a collection of letters from one of the denizens of Hell, named Screwtape, to an underling serving in our world, as a "tempter."  The letters are bits of advice on how to better tempt and trap a young man in England.  While a work of fiction, I think there are some brilliant insights into the lies and misrepresentations authored by Satan, most of which are, without a doubt in my mind, at work in your lives, as well as my own.  Some of them we don't even realize are there.  Ever been unable to focus on a sermon or small group discussion because of hunger?  The temperature in the room?  God gave us these discomforts as a survival tool.  Hungry?  Better eat, or you might starve to death.  Cold?  Put some blankets on, or you could get hypothermia.  The problem is, Satan misrepresents the importance of these basic needs.  You won't starve to death sitting in church.  You won't freeze to death at small group (unless you are a missionary to the Saami).  But at some point in your life, you will be distracted.  I guarantee it.

But there are a pair of lies that I feel are ridiculously prevalent in my own life, both of which are at least mentioned by Lewis.  The first is "You aren't good enough" and the other is "You're as good as anyone."  While total opposites at face value, they are very much variations on the same theme.  I have felt both in regard to the same issue on the same day, within ten minutes of each other.

Of the two lies, I would say the former is the one I struggle with less often, but with greater intensity.  There isn't much I really want to say about it; I think a great deal has been written about it already.  We are fearfully and wonderfully made, made in God's image, etc., etc., etc.  Yeah.  Well.  Seems like some of us are made to be more in God's image than others, right?  Sure.  "So-and-so is more attractive than I am, more witty, more charming, more athletic, more pious, more this, more that.  But if people would just give me a chance, could just get to know me, they would see me for who I really am!  They'd see my talents, and realize that I am just as good as they are."

And there is the transition point.  You suddenly go from selling yourself far, far too short to bordering on arrogance.  Next thing you know, you feel entitled.  You think, "Why not me?  I am every bit as good as they are.  I'm just as worthy of her affection, just as worthy of that leadership position, just as worthy of this, of that, blah, blah blah, blah blah."  Then, the slippery slope begins.  Before long, you start nit-picking the other person, laying out their flaws and saying to yourself, "at least I don't do such and such."  IF there even is another person.  Sometimes you are comparing yourself against something that doesn't even exist, a standard you've created against which to direct your ire.  

Now,  you see the subtlety with which Satan works?  He takes natural tendencies of the human race, and exaggerates or misrepresents them.  He uses ourselves against us.  We ought to have confidence in the person Christ has made us.  However, we ought to have humility.  There's a balance there.  Satan is all about throwing off that balance.

Just a thought.

Pin This!

Okay.  Don't expect a new post every day.  But I feel like butter right now- on a roll.

Today, I'm going to throw some advice at you that I need myself.  I'm not standing on a soapbox, preaching at my readers.  I'm merely relaying that which was preached to me.  I needed to hear it, I still need to put it into practice, and I want you guys to hear it as well.

Really, this post is kind of one big conglomeration of different sermons and personal advice I've listened to over the course of about a month or so now.  I have a pretty easy target for an illustration, too:  Pinterest.

Pinterest is great.  I've used it to creep on people so that I have some idea of what to get them for their birthday or for Christmas.  So, lady readers, take note:  if you expect something from me for Christmas or your birthday, drop subtle hints via Pinterest.  It's also loaded with great advice no one in their right mind would ever think of (seriously, putting a dustpan in the sink to funnel water into a bucket?  Somebody must have been uber caffeinated when they came up with that one), and practical "how-tos" (like how to tie a tie 12 different ways).  But it also has side effects that you're probably not thinking about.

Most pinners have a board about their future house, or future yard, future wedding, or even future spouse.  There are boards full of places they want to visit someday, full of things they want to have someday.  At face value, there is nothing wrong with that.  I like pictures of nice things, too.  But, just like anything, thoughts of those things can begin to occupy an unwarranted place in our lives.  We begin to focus on the future; placing our hope in things we want, places we want to be, people we want to be with.  This skews our focus, obviously.  We worry more about what we want to do and less about who we want to be.  It creates expectations that are, let's face it, unrealistic in many cases, so that what we actually end up with doesn't seem good enough.  Pursuing God's will might take a backseat, too.  And, the present takes a backseat as well.  Let me throw a bit of scripture at you:

James 4:13-16 (ESV)-  Come now, you who say, "Today or tomorrow we will go into such and such a town and spend a year there and trade and make a profit-- yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring.  What is your life?  For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes.  Instead, you ought to say, "If the Lord wills, we will live and do this or that."  As it is, you boast in your arrogance.  All such boasting is evil.

Don't get offended.  I'm not calling you evil, and I'm notorious for doing the same thing.  I have a Type A, analytical, highly structured, planning personality.  At one time in my life, I had ever season planned out from my sophomore year in high school to the time my children were in high school.  Funny thing happened:  things changed.  A lot.  And I kind of got bummed out when I realized things weren't going to go down the way I had expected them to.  But beyond that, focusing on the future also limits your effectiveness in the present.  Matthew 6:34 tells us that tomorrow will worry about itself, and that today has worries enough of its own. 

Well, since the Bible says not to worry a kajillion times, let's think of that more as "things to focus on."  And that's kind of the other problem with Pinterest.  And Facebook.  And Twitter.  And Reddit.  And even ESPN or Flotrack (well, in my case).  And apparently Blogger.  We only have so much time.  What do we do with it?  We waste it, usually.  Not intentionally.  Here's a prime example of what I'm talking about:

We get online with a purpose, and end up checking our social media, which in turn leads to... doing nothing worthwhile.  Think about this:

That's true, and a lot of you are uncomfortably laughing, shifting in your seats, and wondering how long you need to wait after eating that last muffin or scone (the recipe for which I will almost guarantee you did not get on Pinterest) before attempting to run (or shuffle).  But I had other pursuits in mind when I started typing.

We're kind of focusing on being intentional with our time right now at Christian Challenge.  We've been challenged to make this summer about getting to know God better.  As you all know, getting to know anyone better takes time.  Time that we're probably wasting in front of a computer screen.  The fact is, no use of time is better than spending it with God.  I'm not saying you should never do anything to unwind, nor am I saying every second of your life should be productive.  I'm just challenging you, as I myself have been challenged, to be more intentional with how you spend your time.

So, here is some advice given to me, which I will now offer you.  Read God's word.  Memorize scripture.  Keep a prayer journal.  Read a C.S. Lewis book.  Do something worthwhile, be faithful.  If you can bring glory to God through what you're doing, it's not a bad use of time.  Keep God central, and pin whatever you want.  When you have time.

Worth It?

Hey guys.  So, uh, I haven't posted anything in quite a while.  And now that I'm back, expect to see less track related stuff (although there will be a steady stream of it), and something more spiritually flavored.  But, you know me, I can't be constantly serious.  So, they'll still be a taste of my quirky sense of humor infused into whatever I write about.

So, we'll get serious to start things off.  Do you ever feel like you're not good enough?  Yeah, I feel that way sometimes, too.  You are, though.  Unless your ambition is to play in the NFL.  Then, you're probably not.  Sorry.  But, if your ambition is to be the man or woman that Christ intends you to be, then, yeah.  You're equipped.  Some of you are reading this and thinking, "Yeah, yeah, I know.  You're the umpteenth person to tell me.  I get the point."  No, you don't.

You royally blew it, didn't you?  I won't go into what you did.  You know what it was.  And you also know that in the midst of your guilt, you were discouraged.  You thought for that split second that it was true, that you weren't good enough, that no one who messes up this badly could ever lead others, whether IN Christ (as a small group leader, etc.) or TO Christ.  Yeah, see... that's what Satan wants you to believe.  He wants you to have the, "What's the point, I'll never stack up" attitude.  Because with that attitude, you don't strive for the things Christ intends for you to strive for.  Let's face it, a lot of those things are daunting.  1 Peter 1:15-16 calls us to be holy, just as Christ is holy.  Being Christlike isn't easy in a world full of blinkerless drivers and unkempt women with five screaming children at Walmart.  It isn't even always possible, given the sinful nature buried deep within our humanity.  But that's no reason to not try.

If you're still not convinced, look at Paul.  This is a man who persecuted the church.  Now, all sins are equally forgiven through God's grace (save for never acknowledging Christ for who He is, but that's a given), so what he did no more affects his standing with God than a little white lie.  But, through a human, subjective point of view, killing off Christians is probably worse than the majority of things that we have done.  Yet, we still commit sins and wonder how in the world God could ever use someone who has done what we just did.  For crying out loud, by God's grace, Paul was considered among the Apostles (read I Corinthians 15 for reference).  If he could be "good enough" to be among the Apostles even after persecuting the church, why can't you be "good enough" to step up and fill the role God has called you to?  Don't worry about "fixing" yourself first.  Remember Romans 5:8:  "...but God shows His love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us."  We were "good enough" to die for then, we're "good enough" now.

Warp Speed

For those of you who actually read my blog for something other than the cross country analysis, I am going to start with something other than cross country analysis.

This week was test week.  My first test of the semester in three classes, none of which would I consider a cakewalk.  I feel that I rose to the occasion, however.  I know I managed an A- in Nutrition, and I'm thinking As are also going to be the result in Intro to Exercise Science and Fundamentals of Fitness.  I'm thoroughly enjoying everything I'm learning in these classes, and I think it is fairly easy to say that I chose the right major.  Occasionally, I wish the classes were a bit more in depth in the physiology area, less in the clinical fitness area.

Also, I decided to get adventurous with food today.  I went to Noodles and Company, a restaurant I would recommend to just about anyone, and ordered some Pad Thai.  Now, some of you, I'm sure, are looking at this and wondering what in the world Pad Thai is.  Some of you are probably wrinkling your noses.  Allow me to describe it.  Think lo mein in a a sweet sauce, cooked up with red and white cabbage, carrots, peanuts, sprouts, and (here it comes) scrambled eggs.  I assure you, it is delicious.  It does smell pretty funky, however.  I was almost disgusted by the smell, but as soon as I began eating it, I was satisfied with my order.

Also, I may have bitten off a bit more than I can chew this week.  I contacted the WSU SGA with the topic of a potential smoking ban on campus.  Now, while I usually take a fairly "hands off" type of attitude towards government, I feel like this is something that should be looked into.  What I want is a compromise; a specific area on campus smokers can go to light up that won't bother the rest of us.  However, with no one to enforce these rules, it is all or nothing- you can smoke just about anywhere, or nowhere.  I would prefer nowhere.  If I'm sitting on a bench birdwatching, reading, or doing nothing, I'm not bothering anyone.  If I'm sitting on a bench smoking, I'm bothering people sitting around me or walking past me, especially if they have allergies.  I am very tired of long walks across campus stuck behind someone smoking, choking on it the whole way from Ahlberg to Heskett.  I respect their freedom, but I think my freedom to breathe trumps their freedom to smoke.  I would like you guys to weigh in, as I will be writing a report and potentially garnering student body support for the issue when it could potentially appear before the student senate.

Now comes the cross country part!

This week, many teams will truly be tested for just what they're worth.  The Rim Rock Classic goes on at Lawrence, and I expect to see some truly great battles across the board.

But first, let's review last weekend.

Baldwin Invitational
Holy cow... so much to say about this meet.  I think the proper place to begin is with the most obvious:  Alli Cash is something special.  13:16.  Fastest time I have ever seen in Kansas for a girls' 4K.  She led her team to a 2nd place finish behind the juggernaut that is St. Thomas Aquinas.  All 7 runners under 16:00?  I think I see the best team in 5A.  Also worth mentioning is Baldwin.  They seemed far stronger than they did at Wamego, and I see 4A getting very interesting, assuming Maize South (who performed very well at their meet this week as well) stays in 4A.  On the Boys' side of things, Aquinas and Baldwin both looked stronger than they have in their other performances this season, but Baldwin doesn't have as much depth as I think they need to win 4A. 

Bonner Springs Invitational
THIS is the meet I was really excited to blog about.  Can you say DeSoto?  Considering I was given confirmation that the course was meticulously measured, we can say that these times are at least somewhat reliable.  These guys won't go that fast at State, which is what matters, but I think they have massive potential for stud power to work some miracles with Angel Vasquez and Luis Murillo up front.  Keep in mind that Murillo is only a freshman... I don't know that I've ever seen a freshman in Kansas run 16:16 on a legit course.  Also looking strong was 5A team Mill Valley.  They've been gradually improving over the years, and I think they'll eventually be a strong contender.  In the girls' race, I am almost entirely going to skip Mill Valley, despite the fact that they won by 4 over Hayden.  Those girls looked very strong, and backed up their performance this week at Tonganoxie.  Throw in St. James Academy and Paola... plus the Baker twins of Lansing... and you had one heck of a solid meet.

Southeast Invitational
In other news, I found that Wichita North FINALLY looked like the team everyone claims that they are.  The course is a little easier than last week's, but not that much faster (if faster at all) than the RAFT.  So, I see that they are improving, which is another key to success in 6A.  I think they are close to something special here.  I also want to add that Maize looked less than spectacular compared to their showing last week at Emporia.  On the girls' side, I was disappointed that Maize was unable to run with Bishop Carroll.  Not that I want Carroll to lose, I merely wanted an interesting race.

Now, on to some Rim Rock preview. 

Boys' Blue Division
I look forward to seeing how Andale's Jacob Wallace fairs on this tougher-than-average course, and what kind of race he has against Drew Baum of Labette County.  The battle between 3A contenders Wellsville and Wichita Independent is worth keeping tabs on, too.
Boys' Red Division
Mulvane, Wamego, Topeka Seaman, and upstart Mill Valley, plus individuals Brandon Lewis (Derby), Cory Donley (Sacred Heart), and Oscar Carmona (Dodge City) look to impress as well.
Boys' Gold Division
All the big dogs come out to play- Baldwin, Bishop Carroll, Aquinas, Wichita North, and DeSoto are the teams that particularly interest me.  Although, I can't help but wonder why the heck Winfield is competing in that division...
Girls' Blue Division
Ellinwood, Norton, and individuals Elise Larson of Andover and Michaela Ozier of Labette County are really all I am watching in this division.
Girls' Red Division
Maize South, DeSoto, Mill Valley, Valley Center, and the Baker twins?  Yes please!
Girls' Gold Division
Aquinas.  Carroll.  Baldwin.  Shawnee Mission West.  Clash of the Titans?  Almost.  I'm also interested in seeing how Garden City performs and just how fast Alli Cash will run.  But again... how did Winfield make that field?

Well, that's all folks.  I'll be waiting for the results to come in from the big meet this weekend, and I'll be looking for your opinions on the WSU smoking issue.  Hit me up with comments, please!

Au revoir!  

Here We Go Again

Before we get started today, I just want to say that there will only be one meme in today's post.

But lots of cross country!  That's right, the season has begun again!!!

I'm not sure where to start... this week featured one of the great speedways of Kansas cross country, the Hesston Invitational, and this weekend was huge with the Wamego Invitational, Wichita Wild Wind Cross Country Festival, and the Emporia Invitational.  All of these meets showcase teams that I think will make a big impact this year.  I'll begin with the little guys.

2A
Ellinwood boys and girls looked very strong, although that Hesston course is very, very fast.

3A
Douglass girls looked strong yet again this year.  Norton looked solid as well, competition-wise, but given the time performances, I don't think they will have a shot of matching up with the Bulldogs.  I'll need to look at it a bit more this year, but I think Douglass rolls to a repeat. 

Wichita Independent boys looked decent... 3A isn't usually very strong in boys XC, so it isn't easy to determine, especially this early in the season, just how good they are.

4A
Here's where I have my heyday.  This is my area of expertise!  Let's cut to the chase and talk State favorites.  You've got to say Wamego is the favorite to repeat on the boys' side.  They looked phenomenal at their home meet.  They put six runners under 18 minutes, which is awesome for that course at this point in the season.  While Jordan Routh is a worthy number one, he isn't of the same caliber as the number one of men many teams that have won state titles over the years.  That makes the team Rick Patton has put together that much more impressive.

But, the question arises... who is the next best team in 4A?  Well, based on the Wamego Invitational... it's a toss-up.  Mulvane appears to have risen back into redemption form after not qualifying for State last year.  Ren Bean contributed a time that would have won most years, but the 16:04 that individual favorite Angel Vasquez put down sets Mr. Bean in the runner-up position.  DeSoto looks stronger than they have in a couple of years, and the stud effect will certainly help them.  Hugoton, Baldwin, and Andale all three look very strong, but they lack depth, meaning no number five.  This places them on a different tier than the other teams that I've mentioned.

On the female side of things... the enrollment figures will play as much of a roll in deciding the State champion as the actual performance.  Maize South has to be the favorite this year, but the catch is that they were one of the largest 4A schools, and have a good chance to make 5A this year.  That would make 5A a madhouse, of course, but we'll get to that later.  Should the Mavericks join the 5A ranks, I think Baldwin becomes your favorite.  Later in the season, Topeka Hayden and St. James Academy could make a case as well, but right now, they aren't deep.  The Wildcats will hopefully not suffer the same epic choke that they endured at last year's Regional meet, and St. James tends to pull something out of their proverbial hat from time to time.  So, we'll see what happens as more runners get into shape.  Honestly, right there with these two teams is surprise team of the year, Wichita Trinity.  The only issue with the Knights is that if there is a single injury or illness, they are done for.  They only go 5 deep.  Paola also looks like they could make the battle for top 3 very interesting, based on the way they raced Hayden in Week 1.

5A
Bishop Carroll looks good again, what else is new, but I don't think their ladies win this year.  Saint Thomas Aquinas looks like your definite favorites on the women's side of things.  The Golden Eagle men, on the other hand, probably will be repeat champions.  Valley Center looks especially strong on the girls' side this season as well.  Look for them to compete well down the stretch.  Also, the amount of returning individual female medalists is noteworthy... 10 from the Wichita area alone.

6A
Wichita North boys looked better this week, but still don't impress me much.  There is a lot of local media hype surrounding them, and they call themselves the "Fab Four..." that's all the deeper they go, in my opinion.  Four good runners.  That doesn't do much in 6A.

Manhattan girls looked strong at the Emporia Invitational, as did Maize.  They both look to place highly at State this year.  In fact, both boys' teams look very good as well.

Alli Cash's performance at the Greg Wilson Classic is also noteworthy... 13:46... that is a phenomenal performance, and I don't think the question is if she will win State, but rather how fast she will go in doing so.

All in all, that's my blog for the week.  On my way out, I want to leave you with this lovely image.

Otter Chaos

This edition of ALTF shall be

Why?  Because I have very little to write about, but I feel like posting something.  I guess I could talk about school, but it is so mundane... I enjoy WSU quite a bit, and I love my major, but the downside is that I haven't had homework very often, so when I have been assigned some, I haven't been very motivated to finish it.  Ah well.

I think a better use of this blog would be posting memes... why?  Because I can.  I think I know what you're thinking.

To which I respond:

And by now, you're probably thinking:

Okay, okay.  I'll get back on topic.  Cross country season has begun!

I attended last weekend's JK Gold Classic at the RAFT near Augusta.  The high school meet wasn't as competitive as it has been in past years, but I did see two things especially worth mentioning: 

Maize South girls kicked some butt.  I think they might be the 4A favorites this year, assuming they stay classified as such (5A isn't much of a stretch).  It's really hard to tell how good the other teams in 4A are until Wamego (next weekend) and Rim Rock, but they ran as a very solid pack, and could easily improve throughout the season.

Wichita Trinity girls surprised me with their second place finish.  I think that they could be a potential surprise team, possibly even (dare I say it?) a state qualifier.  Again, it is early.  It's hard to say how much they'll improve throughout the season, or what kind of injuries may occur, or what other teams in their region might be good. 

Wichita North boys ran well, but I don't think they look quite as strong as they did last season.  Although, like I said, it is very early in the season.

I want to give a shout-out to Wichita State University, who performed very well.  I also want to thank Casey Nightengale, whose hairstyle and beard allowed me the opportunity to utilize this meme:

I'm hoping to watch a few more meets in person this year, so maybe there will be more substance to the ol' blog this year.  I don't have a lot more to talk about, really, umm...

And on that note, I bid thee farewell.